Grey

Addiction

From one thing to another
We always take more than we need
Or find less than we seek

Jumping from one addiction to the next
Searching for something to keep me here?
Or simply justification for what we are

I'd want to
I'd sought to
I'd love to
I really would love this love, not to be..

Just another
Self involved

Just another
Wanton Masked affection

Just another...
Addiction

we walk around so involved in this one thing
It shouldnt matter that this is so simplistic
The primal urge that builds inside
the sense that it was meant to be

I need to let go
But Im just too afraid
I need to let go
But Im just too afraid

If I got it wrong
Maybe not the same
Could just be me
And then Im alone

Where are you?

sitting here in a crowded street
the familar feeling of lonliness
friends surround me yet I'm numb
I'm happy with the dissociation

Im anxious inside
my soul convulsing
nothing can satisfy
this thirst within

Origins unknown
the food obvious
so hungry
so empty

I want it but its out of reach
This cant be forced
It has to happen
It needs to be now

I want to feel your skin
I need your warmth
I need your touch

All I wanted was a response
To know you're there
To know you care

I feel so selfish
But...
If you dont care...
If you dont love...
then im wasted

I just need to know

-Anonymous Author 2004

6:13 pm | Post A Comment... >

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pirategirl

wrote in the notebook:

Untitled 2001

Blonde. Bewildered.
No front teeth.
Eyes wide behind thick glasses.
Wild tangled hair
Framing a tiny pale face.
Watching all as though all were new.
Taking in everything
In quick, sharp, jolts.
Twisting the head at each sound.
Frenzied.
Uncomprehending.
Unhearing.
Is this untamed being an innocent child
Or has some creature of the wild
Scurried in to mingle with us?

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pirategirl

wrote in the notebook:

senses of the arts

in a world of eyes and ears
sometimes a single picture says many words.
sometimes a single word shows many pictures.
combined, the two are at war.
apart, the two are in turmoil.

2001

3:58 pm | Post A Comment... >

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pirategirl

wrote in the notebook:

Remembering

I look at her across from me.
Her face reflects a shadow of one I loved once.
How alike the two are.
The way she holds her head slightly downcast.
The way she moves her hands as she speaks.
The way her lips form her words.
How strange.
One would almost believe they are the same person.

The only thing I remember clearly are her eyes.
The depth in those eyes was compelling.
They watched me intently.
When their gaze was fixed on me
I felt every drop of energy drained from me in a warm luxurious ache.
I was drawn into them
Wanting so much for them to envelope me.
Wanting to be enticed again.
Again.
Again.
Wanting Wanting Wanting
Wanting something I could never have.
Wishing for a miracle to soothe my dry tongue
Wishing for a whisper to tell me it's safe to let go.

As we laid there
Her head on my shoulder
Her breath on my neck as she slept
I stared at the ceiling.
Uneasy and yet at the same time
Content for now.
I dawdled my fingers of my free hand in the air
And carved my name into the plaster.
She stirred and I heard the others returning.
I crept quietly out of her bed and into mine
Before they arrived
Knowing that when she awoke she would see my name
And know that she had not dreamt what we shared.

2001

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Let's call today: 'Monday 19 April 2004'

pirategirl

wrote in the notebook:

wherever I go, there I am

5:33 pm | Post A Comment... >

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