Let's call today: 'Monday 13 September 2004'
pirategirl 
wrote in the notebook:
oh yeah - thats what i was going to tell you all...
jan the man
now, for people who havent heard of jan the man, i will give you some brief info:
jan the man, as her 'name' indicates is a very masculine dyke of a lesbian who works at my herb farm. she has pracitcally zero personality and has a habit of taking things a little too personally. for example, ember walked over to get a tissue as jan the man was coming in and said 'yuck so snotty!' and jan the man whipped around and glared at her.... a little self conscious maybe? perhaps. this is a mere drop of water in the ocean of jan the man's insipidity - is that a word? i dont care if it isnt, i like it and i shall add it too my dictionary of words that should be invented.
anyway on to jan the man...
this is a woman who, if you had said hello to her in the morning, then after not seeing her for a few hours you say hello again, she'll raise her eyebrows at you and say 'you already said hello to me today....?' like you're talking crazy... which i do, but that is beside the point.
but any which way you look, jan the man was a bit meh around me when i first started and i concluded she just had a problem with everyone - suspicions which we later confirmed by all - but then one day she just arrived to work and was bright and cheery. i guessed she'd either gotten some good sex by her equally butch lover, or had an exorcism of some kind.
friday, i was working with my hair down, glasses on and gloves cos i was working with wet stock. my hair kept falling in my face and i kept having to fish out stray hairs from my mouth as a talked. finally i got fed up and said, 'I need someone to just stand here and brush my hair from my face everynow and then'.
jan the man had come in and up until this point had been quietly doing whatever she was doing writing in some notebook that the groundspeople use. when i said that, she piped up and said 'i can brush your hair for you vicki...'
let me tell you right now... thats about the longest time of silence i've ever gone through on a friday at work. the inside of my head was like the business floor on wall street, with alarms and screams in the background - but outside you could hear a pin drop, and all eyes seemed to turn to me awaiting my response....
i dont want some butch bulldyke pawing her fingers thru my hair! *shudder*
um... they're waiting for you to say something.
yeah but what the fuck do i say???
i dunno.... anything!... make a joke out of it or somethin'
"Umm, no thanks jan (the man) ... i dont trust anyone to touch my hair... I mean, if I let just anyone touch my hair, then you'd ALL want to do it!"
*phew* saved.
will that do?
who cares? just laugh and get back to work.
8:15 pm | Post A Comment... >
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