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the pirate girl
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pirate folder
the pirate girl

coeval happenings
reading: Moab is my Washpot - Stephen Fry
listening to: Napalm & Silly Putty - George Carlin
travelling/staying in: SA, NSW & Vic - depending when you catch me

Let's call today: 'Saturday, 12 November 2005'

pirategirl wrote in the notebook:
I hear it's all the rage...

Hmm, a slight unintentional double-meaning in that title.

Since being a terrorist is fast becoming the new black, everyone is jumping on the bandwagon. If you haven't gotten into gear yet, I suggest you get started before you're left behind in the times. I mean, wait until the other kids in school find out you're just a civillian, not doing your duty by spotting out the baddies, it'll be wedgie-central for you my friend unless you're pointing out enemies of the state.

If you're like me, and the idea of strapping on a few kilo's of dangerous goods to your person and getting onto a bus and blowing bits of yourself all over town just isn't your cup of tea, try a few of the following pointers I've come up with. They assure that while you're not actually engaging in any illegal activity, people will still look you up and down like you could blow your bollocks off whilst taking down parliament house in a blast stretching a few square kilometres at any second.

  • If you like art in structure, like I do, take some pictures in front of prominent buildings or structures, you can get some awesome shots of the old architecture some of those old government buildings have in the city. You'll know it's for art, everyone else though...? Well, you can't be responsible for what other people think now can you? That's their own silly fault if they get the wrong idea.

  • Find some sort of public event with a large crowd, like say, oh i don't know, the christmas pageant today, to do face painting. Carry your paints around in an ordinary unmarked toolbox with shoulder strap, sure it looks too conspicuous and any terrorist would try to blend into the background, but trust me, people today are so edgy they suspect anything. You don't even have to leave it unattended anywhere, just carry it to and from your destination like any normal person.

  • When entering somewhere with high security like say, the US Consulate General or US Embassy, be really nice and happy to be shown where things are. You don't need to go over the top, just be polite and cheerful and greet your guards with a smile. This also works in airports. The more mundane your surrounding crowd, the more interesting the reaction you get.

  • Now obviously, I'm just having a bit of fun here. I don't encourage any sort of illegal or terrorist nastiness thankyou very much and am quite glad to have so many cautious eyes keeping an eye on things.

    This is more or less my lighthearted way of pointing out how fast the world is bein Fed-Ex'd to hell. It wont be long before we're all walking around in Tomorrow When the War Began, and will have forgotten a time like now when we didn't go into a library, for example, and have to present the barcode -- tattooed on our wrist.

    In the 3 short years since I last travelled overseas, passports are now microchipped, fingers are scanned, and Homeland Security take your picture in the airport before they even consider letting you into the USA.

    What's next? A little chip inserted in the skin on the back of our necks like the dogs and cats we own?

    Don't get me wrong, yes I am saying that all these security checks and identity precautions are a hassle and are inconvenient, but I am glad they're there.
    I'm not having a go at the 'inconvenient' yet neccessary measures, or those who enforce them to ensure my safety and the safety of others.
    I'm having a go at the people responsible for bringing the world into the state it's in that justifies such measures being taken.

    This is also one of those many reasons I don't want children; I couldn't do that to them.

    I don't understand how we got here. How did simply living safely get progressively worse with each day that passed?

    2:34 pm | Post A Comment... >


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