This is just a blog for thoughts - songs that are speaking to me, pics from where I've been today, or projects on the drawing board. Just a random outlet. An area of free association. Comments welcome - though anon's are discouraged please. Enjoy your stay & come again. Please note: The content of this blog does not represent the views of any organisations to which I belong. disclaimer
the pirate girl
coeval happenings reading: Moab is my Washpot - Stephen Fry listening to:Napalm & Silly Putty - George Carlin travelling/staying in:SA, NSW & Vic - depending when you catch me
Let's call today: 'Tuesday, 29 May 2007'
pirategirl
wrote in the notebook:
Drought anyone? If this is light rain, I don't want to be caught in heavy rain. But I'm not complaining at all. After a long drought and water restrictions and many many talks about water conservation and worry about the future, I say HELLO RAIN! And if it weren't so freaking cold I'd go out and play in it.
Anyone else hear the enormous clap of thunder at 1:30am or something? With about a full 30seconds of roll behind it. Im impressed. I said it was God telling us all to WAKE UP!!!, then laughing and going 'just kidding, go back to sleep'.
This week, I saw Missy Higgins live, had an usually great day at work, watched DAAS Kapital til 5am with Eli, saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3 (*squelch*... ok eww sorry), listened to The Ark's new album Prayer For The Weekend non-stop (and won some of their older stuff from ebay!), AND scored a three day weekend.
In my head, at the beginning of the week, I was composing my weekend blog post to be all about how defeated I'd been feeling lately... but yay for Missy Higgins, The Ark, and Pirates. And getting to hang out and swoon over Missy with Ember, whom I don't see often enough anymore since us each quitting the farm respectively.
So my take on each of the biggest highlights?
Missy @ Thebby - gorgeous as always, and inspiring me to do more with my own music. The set was awesome, projecting scenes/sequences onto the cyclorama, fairylight 'stars' on the ceiling, and real gum trees and fake grass on the stage, adding to the illusion of the band playing outside coincidently On A Clear Night, the title of her latest album. The loverly Rachel sat on a park bench downstage whilst playing her beautiful cello (and the funky elec cello). The addition of a bohemian style electric candelabra atop Missy's black baby grand was the delicious icing on a very aesthetic cake that was the whole concert. We got to stand a few rows from the stage and by the end had turned gentle swaying into full fledged rocking, with assistance from a carefully planned playlist that consisted of a selection of songs from both albums Clear Night and Sound of White, and EPs. Also new songs we'd never heard before.
Pirates of The Caribbean: At World's End - despite having been told a rather huge spoiler at work (for which the informant must suffer a slow and painful wrath), and sitting in front of a youngish girl who insisted on taking on the role of 'Cap'n Obvious' for the entire length of the film, stating everything that was happening (yes that IS the Black Pearl... yes they ARE fighting with cannons... STFU!), Eli and I were held in 3 hours of piratey delight. Alot darker than Curse of The Black Pearl or even Dead Man's Chest, the third film At World's End has less swash-swash buckle-buckle and more high-speed camera shots capturing the East India Trading Company's goal of oblierating the Pirate Brethren, and the Brethren's responding wave of retribution. Thus one would say that this was more action packed, though without losing pathos and interest. There's alot of triple crossing (common in all 3 films), gasp worthy revelations, and quite a bit of character development from all key characters. There was so much to take in, I feel like I need to see it again to understand 100% of what each character goes through. What a shame!! :D Without spoiling it for anyone, a general summary would be simply this: * Elizabeth Swan gets hotter every film - she really didn't interest me in the first film, but then got a little more piratey in the second and I took more notice of her. In this film she becomes even more of a central character. If nothing else, Will and Elizabeth become more interesting Or rather their love does (which had beforehand been a rather 'every-film-has-to-have-a-love-interest' subplot in the shadow of Jack's awesomeness... well to me anyway :P). * Lots of goosebumpy moments, beginning with the very first scene and continuing throughout the film. * A few insert-joke-from-the-previous-films-here which I felt could have been done without, some went down well like the brief cameo of the dog with the keys, but the line about rum being gone is getting stale, and two comic relief guards who quarrel with each other... well I never like them anyway. The pirate equivolent of them however redeem themselves to me in this film, especially Wood Eye. * Awesome camera work. Enough said.
To be honest, any film that deals with the edge of the world is a winner with me. For some reason I've always had a thing for it. Later that night, I brought out Erik The Viking and watched it again with much delight. Hey speaking of which, did anybody know that Jim Broadbent is in that film? I happened to glance up as the credit were rolling. He's one of the vikings that comes in after Erik meets/is confronted by Helga in the very first scene. Then they fight and he's slain and thats his part done with. Hilarity! He's so young in it. Well, they all are... 1989 had that effect on us all really :P
a supervisor of mine and a friend of 'the girl's' sat down with me and talked with me today and said 'you're better off without her' but not before pointing out how much she said she'd cared for me how much she said she'd liked me and she knew how much I hurt and how angry i was at her friend but 'it wasn't done in malice i think you ought to know'. and i told her i didn't want to hear it i didnt want to know 'she used me' 'she didnt mean to'. and i cried like a child like a fool before having to put my makeup on and start my shift like nothing had happened. except now i was drained and my brain was full it was so much easier to believe it had all been empty but now that ugly question of 'why?' has returned to my head. i have other things to think about i didnt need to hear that. i wish she hadnt told me.
Uriel laughs, I'm drinking water Dressed in the clothes that I have bought her She looks like a lamb, held up for slaughter She is my solemn skies' daughter
But she's in the water, and I'm gonna find her Down at the bottom, she is alive Seagrass and bracken, kissing her wavelet Down at the bottom, wave their bye-byes
You realize that I need comfort Words that are spells, laughter that's transport From day to day, when words are spoken When she laughs silence is broken
But she's in the water, and I'm gonna find her Down at the bottom, she is alive Seagrass and bracken, kissing her wavelet Down at the bottom, and wave their bye-byes
This one's for you, good friend and brother If I would slip, if I would kill her Then take these words, spread them above her Tell her I never could love her
'Cause she's in the water, and I'm gonna find her Down at the bottom, she is alive Seagrass and bracken, kissing her wavelet Down at the bottom, and wave their bye-byes
She, sheee.. ..is in the water, and I'm gonna find her Down at the bottom, she is alive Seagrass and bracken, kissing her wavelet Down at the bottom, wave their bye-byes Bye.. Bye..
We had a Eurovision gathering at Emily's where, in Finnish tribute, we ate lots of fish and potato... and chips and lollies... whilst watching Eurovision 07. We went for the three gayest acts in the competition - tho there were some 'IM NOT GAY' acts as well, not to mention europe's answer to evanescence *shudder*. And yay that the lesbian group won, but I didn't find them as entertaining as Ukraine. Go silver drag queen! But my favourite was the cute singer from The Ark. He was so bouncy. I loved him.
From Sweden: The Ark - 'The Worrying Kind'
From Ukraine: Verka Serdyuchka - 'Dancing' Im so glad they came second.
And from France: Fatals Picards - 'L'amour à la française' I do like the mix of English/French. English translation of above:
I remember nice girl Last summer you were so pretty I remember us, the Eiffel Tower So beautiful with your Chanel bag
On the Seine bridge, let's do it again, again, again, again, Tell me the secret, what is it? What is it?
I am looking for you in the streets I didn't come because you weren't here anymore I am looking around, oh where are you? My heart is bleeding, oh I miss you
Love in the French way, let's do it again, again, again, again, I have lost the secret, what is it? What is it?
And I'm running, running, running, I've lost love, love, love, And I'm lost, here without you, I'm crazy, alone in Paris.
I miss you, without you I can't And under the rain, I feel sorry On the Champs Elyse'es, alone at night Moulin Rouge, I feel guilty
And the sun is hotter than birds And in the sky, I miss you so A souvenir, a rendez-vous Flowers, flowers, flowers for you
I miss you, without you I can't And under the rain, I feel sorry And I'm lost, here without you, I'm crazy, alone in Paris.
I remember nice girl Last summer you were so pretty I remember us, the Eiffel Tower So beautiful with your Chanel bag
Love in the French way, is that I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you But what do I have to do? What is it? What is it?
And I'm running, running, running, I've lost love, love, love, And I'm lost, here without you, I'm crazy, alone in Paris.
I miss you, without you I can't And under the rain, I feel sorry On the Champs Elyse'es, alone at night Moulin Rouge, I feel guilty.
and she, feeling tired, bitter and unloved, trudged through the door, collapsed onto her bed, wrapped the blankets of self pity indulgently around her and wished sleep to come.
Today I have been narrating everything in the third person as in metally constructing a story about someone else to tell at a later date.
i hate work.
Or, more correctly, I hate the day shift.
I hate the people; some of the staff and customers alike, I hate the hours, I hate the games, I hate the verbal abuse, I hate the attitude of little old ladies that can't speak english (and if they can they don't deem me worthy of being spoken to - they just throw me their chips and point and bang the table and curse in the language of choice for the day, be it chinese, italian, or greek), I hate the stupid call outs and having to call my superiors every ten minutes because the procedure dictates that a while on probation I must get everything over $100 checked before passing it out.
The only things I like about days is my more 'normal' sleep pattern and being able to stay awake during days off, not having to always drive in to work because theres more public transport running, getting meals at work because the kitchen is open, and yesterday when one of my more respectable supers asked me to start a chip reconciliation for the roulette tables. No one knew what I was doing (including me) but I looked very official as I went from table to table with my clipboard noting figures down as I was shown, then I got to set up my post in the closets under the escalators (known as "Harry Potter's" amongst us) and work industriously with the numbers and chips where the big boss super kindly told me how proud he was and checked in on me to see how I was going.
Without that, and my book which I retreated to every hour in my 15min break, I wouldn't have gotten through the week.
One week of days down and I hate them already.
I nearly cried whilst on the floor about 4 times today, but I shook it off. I'm sure if the surveillance guys were paying attention though, they'd have seen it. Or any observant customer for that matter, if they weren't so grossly indisposed at staring at tables or screens trying to see 'which had that lucky feel'.
Okay so some of you have asked what exactly happened with the girl from work. Well to tell the truth I don't really think she's worth the long, drawn-out, detailing story of it all so I'll give it all simply the recap that she deserves.
Basically, there's a girl at work. Flirted with me, chased me, kissed me, propositioned me, seduced me, told me everything I wanted to hear, had-some-very-nice-all-night-kind-of-sex and... how to word it... vicki not usually showing her usual inhibitions... which = trust. For me, a huge amount of trust and happening hugely quickly. That's how taken in I was. Talks about lots of personal things, more flirting at work, meeting up, hanging, lifts to places, then me sleeping over with ice cold reactions, the next day (after I had arrived in Melbourne) texted me saying I wasn't her type and to end this before it got too complicated.
So the whole endeavour took a total of about a fortnight between first kiss and droppage.
On either side of that fortnight you have her persuing me & me being careful and hesitant, and me chasing her trying to get her to explain wtf was that & her not caring at all.
to quote "I just feel a bit used by you..." "Awesome."
We were visiting a museum or something like it in a desert town. An excursion of some kind. All of us, perhaps hundreds, sitting around listening to the speaker far far away by the buildings, I was on the outskirts not really listening when a crack appeared in the sand. Like on the beach when the top layer of sand is hard. It got bigger and closer and you could see sand sinking into the crack as it widened, as though there was a deep space underneath. I got up and decided to get away because it was starting to make me uneasy as I watched. I ran and told the other people sitting by me to do the same. Some others saw what I had seen and ran with me. When we got about 100m away I turned and watched the crack open wider and wider and the people finally realising what was happening, but only managing to get up and stagger a few steps as the ground opened up and swallowed them. I heard them scream over the roar. Landslides of sand followed them into the gap and in a matter of seconds there was just a wide area of disturbed sand where people had been, and the hard ridge of the top cracking layer. I ran over to the area, knowing that it was useless but nonetheless falling to my knees and digging with my hands. So intent on what I was doing, I was vaguely aware that others joined me but barely noticed. Sooner than expected I touched something. Flesh. Fingers. My nails scraped against fingertips. I dug around them. A small hand appeared. A child. My fingers brushed against theirs as I dug and I wished as I dug to see or feel them react to my touch but they remain lifeless. I dug down their arm and found another tiny hand. Smaller this time. Plastic. A doll. At that moment, an unexplained wave of water crashed from behind me and over my back and covered the scene in a few inches of water after soaking in a little. I felt my hope dissolve as I knew that now if anyone had somehow survived the cave-in, their oxygen was now cut off by the water. I clenched the small hand now underwater and cried hard.
Then I woke up.
The next night I was some type of futuristic spy, and kidnapped by some kind of Darth Vader-like character, and tortured, but tortured whilst under anesthetic so that when I woke up and somehow was amongst my own people again, I hadn't yet noticed that there were steel spines sticking out of my legs. Another spy-person, older than me, noticed them and told me to hold still while he pulled them out. I remember they were thin and smooth and hard to grip - like the first steel string of a guitar - and when he pulled them slowly out there was lots of blood and we held tissues over all the bloody spots on my legs. There was also something about driving home from the Vale in Eli's car in the rain at twilight with no headlights. At this point, I knew I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up.
So much for the nice dreams I don't remember. Replaced by icky dreams I can't forget.
Okay, so it's not a real play-by-play post about the Melbourne, cos frankly I can't be assed right now to think back to the start of last month now. So instead enjoy this pic Ted took of Eli and I eagerly participating in the Free Hugs campaign on the Melbourne streets... ...I don't think anyone wanted to hug us weirdo types. Share the love http://www.freehugscampaign.org/
"Na nana nana na na It was just another saturday thats gone to waste. Tired of fighting every battle in the world except for mine Take it for granted that theres always someone right here by my side. Stand tall, I know the weight of the world won't bring me down. Stand tall, I gotta let it go.
If man is to let myself go How I wish the world could let go too. Its something I think about when I find myself with nothing left to lose. Stand tall, You know the weight of the world won't bring you down. Stand tall, You gotta be who you are. Stall tall, You gotta let it, You gotta let it, You gotta let it. Stand tall, You gotta let it go. (Na nana nana na na) Stand tall, I know the weight of the world won't bring you down. Stand tall, You gotta be who you are. Stand tall, You know the weight of the world won't bring you down. Stand tall, You gotta be who you are. Stall tall, You gotta let it, You gotta let it, You gotta let it. Stand tall, I gotta let it go.
wrote in the notebook:
